05 Mar 2009 18:10 Filed in: Foundational Posts
In comments from readers of this blog, the Tired Donkey has noticed that a recurring theme is a discussion of class warfare. Certain Stockholm Donkeys of his acquaintance have accused the Tired Donkey of waging class warfare, while some Steadfast Donkeys have corresponded with him complaining that the Obama Administration is waging class warfare against them. It would seem that class warfare is in the air, and the Tired Donkey enjoys few things more than he does clearing the air.
The question of who is waging war against whom is an interesting one, but it is not the Tired Donkey’s purpose to engage with this question. Rather, the Tired Donkey is attempting to make a simple point: the current tax policy of the United States allows nearly half of the potential taxpayers who live in this great land to pay no income tax at all, and this is improper, unjust and—the Tired Donkey submits—immoral. This issue is not being addressed at all in the debate about how much more of the overall tax burden the wealthiest donkeys ought to shoulder; that is an important debate, but the Tired Donkey believe that an even more important debate is whether or not it is appropriate for Freeloaders to be allowed a voice in these questions. If you do not contribute funds to running the country, what right do you have to interfere in the affairs of the donkeys who do contribute these funds? The Tired Donkey has an answer to this question: none. Another, more inflammatory way to put this—a way the Tired Donkey favors—is this: no representation without taxation. You may call that class warfare if you wish; the Tired Donkey calls it common sense.
A good example of the absence of this important question from the current debate was provided yesterday by Stockholm Donkey Michael Hiltzik of the Los Angeles Times. In his piece on class warfare, he blathers on at length about top tax brackets and income redistribution (which he heartily endorses) and hedge-fund managers and other things that Stockholm Donkeys like to talk about. He even trots out an Addled Donkey from Manhattan Beach, a retired computed executive, who says that “all the tax rebates to the rich never made sense” to him and goes on to “fully endorse the idea that it’s about time the middle class got a crack at” tax rebates for themselves.
In case you were so stunned by the ignorance displayed by the poor Addled Donkey that you missed the point, the Tired Donkey will make it clear for you: Stockholm Donkey Hiltzik used this run-down creature to hide the real question from his no-doubt equally muttonheaded readers: how can someone who pays no taxes get a tax "rebate?" Once again, the Tired Donkey has an answer to this question: he can't.
03 Mar 2009 07:17 Filed in: Foundational Posts
The Stockholm Syndrome is a phenomenon in which a hostage begins to identify with and grow sympathetic to his or her captor. Unfortunately, many donkeys—after years of brutal work on behalf of the Freeloaders—as in the picture to the left—fall prey to this condition. A useful example of this phenomenon is Mr. Jay Bookman of the sad little Atlanta paper, the Journal-Constitution. There are, of course, many other examples of more prominent Stockholm Donkeys, particularly in the media, but the Tired Donkey is singling out Mr. Bookman today because a blog entry he posted last year is a particularly poignant representation of the affliction.
In this post, Stockholm Donkey Bookman argues that the Tired Donkey’s entire premise is a fraud since our Congress—in its infinite wisdom—spends some portion of Social Security and Medicare payroll taxes—which even Freeloaders have to pay—on things they are not supposed to spend it on like paying park rangers. Now Stockholm Donkey Bookman is no idiot, he is just dishonest, and the Tired Donkey will expose his little tricks on a future date. For now, it must be sufficient to point out that the overwhelming majority of Social Security and payroll taxes are paid by the Donkeys, not the Freeloaders; the fact that the Freeloaders may carry their own water bottle while us Donkeys carry all their household possessions does not make what is happening in this country fair. But the Tired Donkey digresses, and he must now return to his primary subject: the Stockholm Donkey.
A Stockholm Donkey is, plainly and simply, a donkey who has lost his way, who has begun to identify with his oppressors and help them achieve their goals instead of finding his way to freedom. Stockholm Donkey Bookman should remember what happened to Patty Hearst before he posts any more spurious blogs that aim to increase his own tax burden. The Tired Donkey is not hard-hearted, and he understands that some may view the Stockholm Donkeys as victims who lack the mental toughness necessary to resist their captors. But he urges all Stockholm Donkeys to fight their affliction and join the donkey quest for freedom.
NOTE: The Tired Donkey has no access to Stockholm Donkey Bookman’s tax returns and recognizes that Stockholm Donkey Bookman may actually be a Freeloader, particularly since he works for such a minor paper. If this is the case, the Tired Donkey apologizes and urges Mr. Bookman to thank a donkey.